if only for a moment

for a few moments today, i think, for the first time in a while, i was happy

it felt good. i miss it

xo

when it matters most

i feel like i should write something about last Friday
but it doesn't feel appropriate
blogging here i cant explain who she was, or how she influenced me
how much i loved her and how much ill miss her

so instead ill say thank you:
to everyone who cared
by either hugging me and asking if i was okay
or leaving me alone when i needed it most
it meant the world to me and i don't think i would have gotten through it without you

my biggest thank you goes to you
for being my shoulder to cry on
i truly wouldn't have gotten through it without you
from the bottom of my heart, thank you babe
i love you

xo

decisions

sometimes its just not the same anymore

i know its for the best, but its still kinda sad

xo

cold

i felt my phone ring,
and i went cold
i don't think I've ever been more relieved to find that it wasn't you

xo

situations

you know the feeling when your on edge
i had that today

when you hear something that you weren't expecting from someone you defiantly weren't expecting it from
i had that today

or maybe i was expecting it i just told myself i wasn't

i guess we both should have been
but i still feel bad that shes going through this
she'll get through it though,
shes strong

but maybe she shouldn't have to

why must people ask questions and analyse situations
why cant everyone just leave it alone and realise its none of their business

but that's not what made me on edge
i felt bad that they're asking her but that's not what gave me this feeling

it was when you asked me,
and i couldn't answer
i laughed and i joked and i answered your other questions
but i didn't answer that one,
well not properly anyway
I'm not sure if you noticed and let it slide, thank you if you did
or whether i looked calmer then i felt on the inside

to tell you the truth, i cant
i cant answer that question because I'm not sure what the answer is
I'm confused and at one moment i think one thing and the next i think something else
i know what would be easier but I'm not sure if its the truth
i cant just say that, especially to you
you deserve the truth and I'm sorry i cant give that to you

all i can give you at the moment is that I'm confused
if you noticed that i didn't answer the question today, its not that i don't trust you its just that i don't know
I'm not sure how to explain it or what anything even means
if i ever figure it out ill let you know
but right now my heads just messed up
I'm sorry

i have to say though, we should have another lunchtime like that again
i missed you

xo

The End

Each year, as sad as it seems, i look forward to the start of the football season
i mark it on my calendar and count down the days until the opening game
'Broncos vs Cowboys'
i went to that game this year and i plan to go next year as well

each week we tip for that particular round and i tip the same teams most weeks
i watch the Friday night games and hope that a Queensland team or Melbourne are playing
then on Sunday mornings i read the paper, flip straight to the sports section to see if the cowboys had won or lost, and where they were now positioned on the table

yesterday was the last game of the season, the grand final
parramatta eels vs Melbourne storm
parramatta had come from eighth position to make it to the grand final, they'd beaten teams 1, 2 and 3 and were trying to beat 4
a pretty good effort
Melbourne had only played 2 games in the final series, they'd beaten the broncos so not many Queensland people were supporting them
but for most parramatta was a sydney team, they had hayne and that was enough reason to hate them and support their opposition
plus Melbourne is practically the fourth Queensland team as their best are Queenslander's :)

yesterday Melbourne and parramatta played and...
MELBOURNE WON!!!!
23 - 16
Slater won the Clive Churchill medal
and Inglis, Cronk and Johnson all played brilliantly as well
all Queensland XD

so the season finished for another year
and i have to wait until next year to see them play again
but luckily there are test matches
plus the cricket starts soon :)

next year though COWBOYS FOR THE PREMIERSHIP
AND THURSTON FOR THE DALLY M

XD

xo

Six Months

I'm not really good with words
that's more your area
but to put it simply...

i love you gorgeous

xo

The Grand Final

Melbourne vs parramatta

neither team is the cowboys, or even a Queensland team
but Melbourne has Queensland players; slater, inglis, cronk, smith...
plus folau used to play for them
and hayne plays for parramatta
and parramatta is a sydney team
so...

GO MELBOURNE!!!!!!!
or billy depending who you ask XD