TO DO LIST

- call Caitlin
- call work
- sign up to tutoring on moodle
- call Bec
- talk to parents about going to the city
- reference for english
- talk to Ms Barlow
- sign up for open netball trials
- talk to Carly
- talk to Stepho
- talk to Kristy
- sort out immunizations
- give note to Ms Hess
- practice english
- talk to Gabe
- sort out Friday night
- sort out Saturday night
- ring other work
- text allesia about choir
- get allesias number to text her about choir
- collect money for chocolates
- attempt to work out a formal partner
- sort out group interviews with Ms Smart
- maths: exercise 6E
- legal studies: part A
- chemistry: questions and research
- sor: read the book and complete booklets
- try not to pass out or throw up

I've completed about two of those so far...

and i really just want to sleep.....

ARE YOU OKAY?

its an interesting question,
everyone asks it,
i always wonder if they actually care about the answer though
if they care whether you actually are okay or not, or if they're just asking because they think they should

i got asked that about 10 times this morning alone
my answer, 'im fine'
in my head, 'of course im not okay'
but you cant say that because then you have to explain why..and i cant explain why

I'm not tired and I'm not sick like i have been all week..
well i am but that's not why I'm upset

its just something you said, that i found out last night
and i probably have no right to be upset about it
its just....i don't know...

i just am and...

i don't know what to do, because to you it doesn't matter

but to me it means alot more....

Self-confidence

Definitions:

Realistic confidence in one's own judgment, ability, power, etc.
- Dictionary.com

A person's belief that he or she can succeed.
- Answers.com

A mental attitude of trusting or relying on yourself
- Unknownknowledge.com

Synonyms:

self- esteem, self- assurance, faith in ones-self, courage, belief in your self, positive self- image

so many definitions, so many synonyms
pity none of them seem to apply to me

luckily i can fake it
luckily no one realises how their comments hurt
how being ignored makes me feel
how i don't fit in
how i actually feel most of the time

Always

it was hard to sit by and see you hurting
to know what was wrong, why you were crying
but to be unable to do anything about it
nothing i could do would comfort you like she was
so i left you there crying in her arms
because she understands you better
she may not realise it or know how to fix everything
but she is there for when you need her and she will never let you go
i love you too beautiful girl but in that moment you needed her not me
so i walked away, i left you in her arms
but I'm here too, if you ever need me, ill always be here no matter what
xoxo