checkmate

you asked me what you should expect
bad or really bad.....


but how can i answer that? what am i meant to say?






did it hurt that you even thought it? yes
do i understand why you thought it, where the idea came from? absolutely
does that help me with dealing with it, with moving on? Definitely not
do i hate being compared to people? more than anything
do i feel terrible for even thinking this?



of course i do!



i have no right to be annoyed, to be angry....
but i cant help it!














i cant help feeling hurt, confused and angry
at you, at me, at him, at the situation.












now were going to talk and i don't know what to say.
i want to tell you that you hurt me, but i cant....i cant do that to you
i want to tell you that you didn't hurt me...but i cant do that either
i cant do that to myself and i definitely cant do that to you!


so where do we go from here?
what do we do?


because this time we cant just ignore it......
this time we need to talk.



what I'm going to say is still the unanswered question....