when it all falls apart

there are moments when you realise places, people or things that you believed would live forever aren't quite as invincible as first glance
all your beliefs can be destroyed by two simple sentences....

she had a fall
she might not even make it through the operation

in those two sentences you have made me question everything i believed.
they have been there my whole life. how can i now start to believe that one day they wont be there?
i knew that this would come one day but why now?

then, when i ask whats going on you tell me not to worry
but is that true?

or is it just you treating me like a little kid again

but it doesn't matter what you say. it doesn't matter what you tell me
I'm worried

I'm worried because their old
I'm worried because we were expecting this
I'm worried because we've been expecting this for ages yet i never believed the time would actually come
I'm worried because their family
I'm worried because they've always been there
I'm worried because they feature in so many family stories yet they could soon be gone
I'm worried because at times i forget and i feel guilty
I'm worried that I'm not worried enough
I'm worried because i cant imagine my life without them
I'm worried because i don't want to have to try
I'm worried because i might soon have to
I'm worried because no matter what has happened you two have been constant
I'm worried because now your not
I'm worried because i might need to say goodbye soon
I'm worried because I'm really not ready
I'm worried because i don't know how
I'm worried because i know that i cant do anything to stop this
I'm worried because no matter what you say i know its coming and i don't want it to
I'm worried because i know your worried

I'm scared and there's nothing i can do

just don't leave me yet


please

xo